I’m Scared (A Letter to My Soul)

I’m scared.

I’m scared.

Scared of losing what I have
in pursuit of what I’m Becoming.

Scared of being Me
for fear it may scare You.

Scared of walking this path
alone.

Scared of chasing my dreams
and losing my Home.

Scared of having no template,
having no Map.
Scared to lose my Way,
to lose my Path.

Scared I’m too late,
yet there’s no turning back.
Scared to be great,
scared to fall flat.

I’m fucking scared.

Scared that the money
will drive us apart.
Scared that my honey
has lost her pure heart.

Scared that I didn’t tell her
didn’t tell her enough
Scared that I didn’t share
that I didn’t share love.

Scared that my kids
will not understand
Scared that they don’t know
I need to be a man.

Scared I didn’t raise them
the way that they needed
Scared I’ve been selfish
Too lost and defeated.

Scared that this challenge
Is too big of a task.
Scared I’ve got no one
no one to ask.

Scared to just say it:
Say that I’m scared.

But where…

Where would I be
be in a year?
Where would I be
content,
right here?

Is that even a choice,
a choice that I have?
Or is this my Fate
for which I am glad?

Yes…

Glad to be free
Free of these chains
Free to explore
Free to engage.

The Path, it may not
may not be so clear
so I take small steps
and admit when I fear.

And then…

The fears are clear
clear to be seen
seen on a screen
And now I’ve come clean.

I’ll clean up my act
and take what may come
For this is my pact
What’s done will be done.

So yes, there are fears
And that is O.K.
Free to admit them
It’s okay to say…

To say that I’m scared
is just to be true
To admit that I’m human
is all I can do.

So I ask for Your guidance
I ask for your Hand
To show me the Way
to make me a man.

I’ll trust that you’re here
on each step of the way
Trust you are with me
every Moment,
every day.

So thanks for this chance
this chance to be clear
thanks for allowing
my offering of fears.

Bless me with courage.
Strengthen me with valor
Shine on me Your Light
So I can share in
Our Power.